With all of the events that have transpired over the last week, I find myself facing an expatriate dilemma.
I am disconnected to what is going on in my country.
Maybe not factually disconnected, but perhaps emotionally disconnected. International reporting on the events lose a sense of passion and patriotism and are rather lack luster. I read the headlines and listen to reporting. I talk with my friends from England and South Africa. Everyone says what a shame it is. How horrific and terrible. But the connections aren't there. It's not their families, friends, neighbors that are in peril. It's my countrymen who are suffering but I am having a hard time remembering that.
I've talked with Ian about it all week.
"What's wrong with me? Why don't I feel connected? Why am I not as sympathetic and empathetic about this?"
To be clear, I am sympathetic, I think I compare everything to 9/11 though and if it is not as severe and grand in size and scale then it doesn't seem as big of a deal to me.
I've prayed for my nation, for wisdom, for perseverence, and I've also prayed that I won't lose my sense of connection with my home country.
And then I saw the clip. A facebook video showing college students cheering on Boston's finest after the capture of the 2nd suspect. And then they break out into song. Not just any old song. But our national anthem.
And though it is 7 o clock in the morning my time, and my day is just getting started with the rising sun, I weep.
I sob through the fervent raised voices of a nation that unites during the most terrible of tragedies.
Who sing a song that has been sung for decades upon decades.
A country who may not agree on very much, but concordantly agree on one thing- this time, evil is not a grey issue. It is black and white. And we have seen victory this week.
I am disconnected to what is going on in my country.
Maybe not factually disconnected, but perhaps emotionally disconnected. International reporting on the events lose a sense of passion and patriotism and are rather lack luster. I read the headlines and listen to reporting. I talk with my friends from England and South Africa. Everyone says what a shame it is. How horrific and terrible. But the connections aren't there. It's not their families, friends, neighbors that are in peril. It's my countrymen who are suffering but I am having a hard time remembering that.
I've talked with Ian about it all week.
"What's wrong with me? Why don't I feel connected? Why am I not as sympathetic and empathetic about this?"
To be clear, I am sympathetic, I think I compare everything to 9/11 though and if it is not as severe and grand in size and scale then it doesn't seem as big of a deal to me.
I've prayed for my nation, for wisdom, for perseverence, and I've also prayed that I won't lose my sense of connection with my home country.
And then I saw the clip. A facebook video showing college students cheering on Boston's finest after the capture of the 2nd suspect. And then they break out into song. Not just any old song. But our national anthem.
And though it is 7 o clock in the morning my time, and my day is just getting started with the rising sun, I weep.
I sob through the fervent raised voices of a nation that unites during the most terrible of tragedies.
Who sing a song that has been sung for decades upon decades.
A country who may not agree on very much, but concordantly agree on one thing- this time, evil is not a grey issue. It is black and white. And we have seen victory this week.
"Oh, say! does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?"
3 comments:
You are certainly from the land of the brave!
I can't imagine not being connected at a time like this. I honestly did feel a lot like 911, at least in the northeast it did. Watching that moment of capture live was truly one of the most amazing moments ever. To share it live with family and friends over text and twitter and just see it come to a conclusion was such a rush of emotion. Which of course made me sob too. I hope the investigators find answers to bring more healing to our nation.
KK
Love this post, Brittney, good perspective! I'll have to look up that video.
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